Now I need someone convincing to say Rodeny's contribution.: .posted by ben on Oct 29 at 18:45

repect my mind
or you'll find
yourself dead motherfucker

from Madrid to san fran
eating canned flan
in the back of an econoline van
my plan will span

the vector space that follows
while others wallow
angry like Phoebus Apollo
faster than an unlaiden swallow

repect my mind
or you'll find
yourself dead motherfucker

replacing the iBook
that I let cook
building a wearable in that nook
to generate a vulgar new hook

repect my mind
or you'll find
yourself dead motherfucker

I like taking that picture... over and over.: .posted by ben on Oct 29 at 18:33

A possible evolutionary motive for small minds: .posted by ben on Oct 29 at 10:01

When I got out of my car in Golden, I stared in horror at my roof rack for a moment, with images of my Dura Ace sew up bouncing down 93 until it got flattened by the Subaru that was tailgating me the whole way here. Then, with no lack of relief I realized the damn thing was one wheelholder over. Sigh...

So, I'm thinking... Here is a reason to have small brains. Because, the bigger our brain is, the more disparaging scenarios we can come up with before our sensory input gets the better of us.

gots the mad crosshatching skilz: .posted by ben on Oct 28 at 17:55

uber fetish: .posted by ben on Oct 28 at 00:36

It'd be nice to wake with a woman I'm in love with who's wearing only one of my dress shirts.

and you say your god is love? what chance does he stand?: .posted by ben on Oct 28 at 00:04

"Hear me, god of the silver bow, that standest over Chryse and holy Killa, and rulest Tenedos with might, O Smintheus! If ever I built a temple gracious in thine eyes, or if ever I burnt to thee fat flesh of thighs of bulls or goats, fulfil thou this my desire; let the Danaans pay by thine arrows for my tears."

So spake he in prayer, and Phoebus Apollo heard him, and came down from the peaks of Olympus wroth at heart, bearing on his shoulders his bow and covered quiver. And the arrows clanged upon his shoulders in wrath, as the god moved; and he descended like to night. Then he sate him aloof from the ships, and let an arrow fly; and there was heard a dread clanging of the silver bow. First did the assail the mules and fleet dogs, but afterward, aiming at the men his piercing dart, he smote; and the pyres of the dead burnt continually in multitude.

furi kuri: .posted by ben on Oct 28 at 00:02

inelastic boy: .posted by ben on Oct 27 at 17:57

My stupid car may be dead... I just paid $200 some to get it fixed, and it sputtered pathetically home. All I want to do is sit and watch Fooly Cooly or Furry Curry or FLCL depending on who your transliterator is, but it won't play on my dvd player... and I can't get a codec to work on my PC, and we all know what happened to my mac...

Everything I own is in some state of disrepair... cars that blow up, bikes that creak, computers with motherboards burning... Do other people have these problems, or am I just stupid?

people who annoy me: .posted by ben on Oct 27 at 14:02

I see Alexis (aka the skanky one with the pointy teeth) around town several times a day. She glares at me or pretends to not see me. I don't remember wronging her in any way. I wonder if I did something I forgot about.

Por el suelo... todavia.: .posted by ben on Oct 27 at 13:50

Even if there is no God and I have no soul and all those other depressing things that seem likely are true... Then there are still at least two kinds of suffering. There is suffering inflicted directly upon your body... and while pain and discomfort may reside solely in the mind, seeing blood dripping from one's arm really adds something to the experience.

The second brand of suffering is more potent. This is the realization and acceptance that da sein will destroy you. My question is does da sein itself destroy you, or the mere knowing of da sein? The German asshole who came up with all this would say I'm a bad person if I let mere knowledge of da sein destroy me, but that's the way it's going.

The solution is to be as stupid as possible. The current appropriate image I have is of Buddha Josh waving his hands around in front of Cody and calling it Tai Chi. Cody, who actually knows something of these things, looked annoyed... But, the fact remains, Buddha Josh is happy and stupid.

My car has fucked itself.: .posted by ben on Oct 27 at 11:23

It smells like winter. The people huddled in coffee shops have changed mood slightly. It's all the same.

I want to do something new and interesting. For once, It'd be nice if that didn't mean fucking up in increasingly expensive ways.

eigenvectors of the affinity matrix: .posted by ben on Oct 27 at 00:07

... just finished DS9 season 5. Season 6 comes out election day. It seems that must be signicant somehow.

There's not anything I want to be doing right now. Sure, there are books I intend to read, movies I want to see, and I have a hubric desire for a graduate degree or two... but, if I were trapped in some forbidding circumstance... say my car exploded on the Peak to Peak and I had to crawl to Raymond on my bleeding stumps to live, that would be it.

Life should not be that way. We should all have something to live for. Most of the people I know don't... and if they don't, they often don't realize it, they continue living out of habit... something I have grown excellent at.

Plato wasn't all wrong. If I can't do some noble philosophic deed or gore ridden heroic one, at least I hope I could live some more personal greatness...

Today was one trip to Prufrock's and two to the Trident. The only person I talked to was Peggy.

A variety of people I know claim suffering of divers varieties of depression... but, the evidence is clear... compared to Collin they know nothing of suffering... and I have been close to said suffering, so I know more about it. My point... I always have a point, none of that popopo... My angst is better (more potent, deadlier, smells worse) than yours.

to the city: .posted by ben on Oct 26 at 17:10

Satan's minions quote scripture.: .posted by ben on Oct 26 at 02:44

If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.
-1 Corinthians 15:19 (KJV)

If in this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all men most to be pitied.
-1 Corinthians 15:19 (NRSV)

banality of evil: .posted by ben on Oct 26 at 02:41

Walking down pearl street I saw two frat boys fighting. It was one of those fights where their friends hold them back, and then let them go once in a while. They rushed forward and punched each other in the noses... then back to holding positions.

Walking back up the mall, one had a bloodied face. He was sitting by Salvagio's talking calmly on his cell phone. Then I passed the other one. His face had less blood, but plenty still. I walked a few feet in front of him, and he lunged at me. His friends held him back. As I scurried fearfully away, he was drawling to his friends about how he "did it for the fraternity."

vomit in the streets in the town of Boulder: .posted by ben on Oct 26 at 02:41

me too: .posted by ben on Oct 26 at 01:47

P.S. In other words I am free as a lark all day and night till any hour. Let's celebrate and write literature and draw funny pictures.

-Henry Miller, Letters to Emil, pg. 11

banal thought: .posted by ben on Oct 24 at 11:06

It is much easier to come up with a favorite if you know little of the category to which that favorite belongs. For instance, it's very easy for me to name Caruso as my favorite tenor, because at the moment the only other tenors I can think of are those miserable "Three Tenors" who I dislike for vague reasons.

garghh and arghhh: .posted by ben on Oct 24 at 02:14

I didn't go to Moab (and Fruita apparently) because I thought I needed to be at school on Friday. I don't.

The current question is: do I want to sit on campus for 3 hours doing nothing to go to a colloquium on wireless computing given by Cologrosso? Sure, it has nothing to do with what I want to be studying, but that may not matter.

rye, roma, fake bacon, cheddar, and oregano: .posted by ben on Oct 22 at 23:38



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