Blind Justice: .posted by ben on Apr 14 at 14:40

Is it some more bondage pornography? No, just a sign of the collapse of our justice system...wonderful... Apparently US Marines stripped John Walker Lindh, tied him to a strechter, blindfolded him, and then stuck him in a storage compartment for three days. This after denying his request to see a lawyer.

They did get a confession out of him in the end...

Outside Robins Sing: .posted by ben on Apr 13 at 23:15

November wind-
the sound of one shutter

-Paul O. Williams
The Shit List: .posted by ben on Apr 12 at 02:02

This is really stupid... I remember looking at it with Graham at Prinicipia, and snickering about how we were getting away with reading something with this much profanity... It's not the profanity that's so exciting anymore... There seems to be some moderated wisdom to the shit list...

Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah, so we must blow up the World Trade Center.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible. then blow up the World Trade Center.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel, then blow up the World Trade Center.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor -pray.
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvanism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.

RMS: .posted by ben on Apr 8 at 13:10

RMS is cool...

in your eahhead...: .posted by ben on Apr 7 at 03:08

I was so exicited....

My dear friends, I dream that you dream...

zaid an email I got, but then it started talking about pornongrpahy, and I was disappointed...sorely...how crule..kim,and mara have gone... I a,m alnone....and drunk...dear lord I am drunk...


and lonely, as the police say, so lineley, you have no idea....save me, make it all better...

i met a girl who can sketch, and i am sorely impressed...how pitiful...i certainly feel pitiful... i can;t even type...

emoguh humiliation...i am done

and fuck celine~!

lies: .posted by ben on Apr 5 at 18:00

Hypocrisy and lies make the world go around. Nobody likes the truth. The only way to get along with friends, family, and coworkers is to tell them you like them, even if it's an atrocious lie. Accord them the respect they don't deserve...
Mutual Satisfaction: .posted by ben on Apr 4 at 02:29

This is a graph of a time window versus mutual information. Criterion is Log[2,10], which is about 3.2, which is about the asymptote visible on the graph. Furthermore, the graph is of the form of the antiderivative of the normal curve. Like I said.

This means I'm almost done. No more non-computational spiking neural network for me...all I have to do is lots of set theory and analysis.

My analysis teacher said (at the beginning of the semester) "You can turn your homework in on the last day if you want." What this means is that I've spent all my time doing neural networks, and not analysis. Now, I'm running out of time.

I still can't believe it works.

Supposedly all I need to do is run some simulations on data sets Mozer will give me, and then presumably write something about all this pain and suffering, though probably not in the style of Celine.

Does anybody else like Celine?

cold..very: .posted by ben on Apr 3 at 03:36

I just tried to take a bath. I filled the tub with bubbles and water, but the water turned out to be cold. For some reason the water heater had no hot water for me this frigid morning. So, I just set the heater to one notch above hot (two below very hot), and in the midst of the range where the heater warns of scalding...ah scalding...how nice that would be.
Stolen from slashdot...: .posted by ben on Apr 1 at 09:31

"When I went to college, there was a girl named Teresa Watt who had an account on the RS/6000. My buddy Rob had tears in his eyes when he showed me that you can actually "finger twatt". "
science: .posted by ben on Mar 31 at 19:23

The Key to Her Ferrari

And then I saw her... she was a bright red '64 GTO with fins and gills like some giant piranha fish, some obscene phallic symbol on wheels... little rivers of anticipation ran down my inseam as I kicked those five hundred italian horses into life and left reality behind me: fifty, sixty, seventy miles an hour... my hand slipped inside the belt of my trousers as we passed eighty, ninety miles an hour... my hand slipped inside the belt of my trousers and as we hit the magic 100 my love exploded all over her bright pink leather interior... and at that moment, I thought of my mother...

                    -Thomas Dolby

Plot is a Capitalist Ploy: .posted by ben on Mar 31 at 12:01

Happy Easter... Someone threw a container of yogurt at my car (strawberry-bannana). It's frozen to my car. I guess I'll wash it off tomorrow.

I just rewrote my bad-juju neural network (well, the mutual information part) again. And my hands smell like fake strawberry-banana...I'm going to go wash them...

That was fun, now back to complaining...

I went to bed about 1am last night, and woke up about 2pm (I actually woke up twice before that, but it didn't stick). I ran a few mutual information simulations, and went back to bed again. I woke up again around 6pm... Slept some more... Got up for good around 7pm.

Ran more MI simulations, and went to the bookend for chai and set theory. I'm sick of the trident. I'm sick of Naropa students telling me that plot (and now syntax apparently) is a capitalist ploy. To what end? Supposedly this has some base in Marxism, but the solution to capitalist plots is not communism (there was some consensus that it was anarchy).

This makes Chomsky a capitalist as Devin observed. I'd never realized...

Sexy Color: .posted by ben on Mar 31 at 03:09

I run a google search for "sexy color" and I end up with this... baby pictures of Chinese models... I guess I should be happy I didn't end up with underage crossdressing animal bondage pornography.
The one on the left is apparently named Chung Pui Chi, while the one on the right is apparently named Chu Hoi Ting.
Twain Aquire...a bad joke: .posted by ben on Mar 31 at 01:37

From the War Prayer

O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle -- be Thou near them! With them -- in spirit -- we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells;

help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead;

help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain;

help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief;

help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it --

for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet!

We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.

          -Mark Twain
Never a war to end all wars...: .posted by ben on Mar 29 at 00:56

It's politic to talk about the superior American regard for life. Sadly, it's a lie. During W.W.II American took the strategy of victory in numbers. Between 1942 and 1945 America produced 50,000 Sherman takes, compared to 8,000 tanks that Germany produced. Nonetheless, a German Tiger tank could fight 5 Sherman tanks simultaneously and win.

Where is the superior regard for human life? It was safer to drive a Russian tank than a Sherman.

35 Tons
75 mm cannon (500 yard range)
1.4-1.6 inch armor
top speed of 25mph (500hp engine)
70 Tons
80mm cannon (1.5 mile range)
4-6 inch armor
top speed of 28mph (700hp engine)

It's a wonder that I'm not fluent in German (or dead).

The most appalling thing we did (in terms of tank battles) was the Battle of Baston during the Battle of the Bulge. Patton was sent with a large number of tanks to intercept German Panzers moving to take Baston.

However, the Germans would arrive 5 days before Patton, so some asshole made the decision to drop thousands of infantryman (many not even armed) into Baston. Several thousand died (for no good reason) before Patton managed to make his way to Baston and get thoroughly immolated by the Germans (though the Americans did win in the end).

High regard for human life...sure...

I was just thinking...: .posted by ben on Mar 26 at 19:52

What good is a cat that can't play the bagpipe?
I don't think I'm angry enough: .posted by ben on Mar 23 at 12:31

and this is the biggest "fuck you" i can muster
spiced nicely for all my detractors.

ego: .posted by ben on Mar 23 at 12:19

The winner of our contest is... me. Cracker wrote thos lines (or whoever the lead singer is at any rate). Graham doesn't think Cracker is bluegrass...
My only friend, the end.: .posted by ben on Mar 23 at 12:17

ben, i went to the grad committee to plead your case today. i don't think i was successful. i understand where they're coming from: they're turning down students with much stronger academic records and comparable research backgrounds. we looked over your transcript to find signs of the positive trajectory on your GPA, and they noted some less-than-stellar grades recently in core cs courses (OS, e.g.). (they also can't accept you without GRE scores.)

i explained your situation -- that you felt with the math degree you needed CS credentials to get a good job. they pointed out that CU Denver offers an alternative for the MS program.

the promised to discuss it further, but again, i don't think the chances are great. i'm sorry. at least i had a chance to explain the progress you've made on our research and in your own recent academic career.

assuming the worst, let's start looking into the CU Denver MS program.

how is the project coming along? do we have MI yet?

best, mike

The really annoying part is that on the basis of Mike's advice, I didn't finish my CS degree this year. That means I have to go to school all next year to take 2 classes which cannot be taken concurrently because he said I should only worry about finishing my math degree this year. I should have only worried about finishing CS.

I guess I'll get to read a lot. Maybe I can wire up a real analog network as well.

Stuff: .posted by graham on Mar 21 at 18:41

"I'm so fucking bored. I'm the king of the world."

If anyone can tell me who wrote those lines, I'll give you half of something. I'm not sure what, but it'll be something. I promise.


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