WCW: .posted by ben on Feb 15 at 18:01

        This is Just to Say
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
-William Carlos Williams

Red isn't really my color: .posted by ben on Feb 14 at 17:01

I would say that this is the worst Valentine's Day ever, but that isn't quite the case. I think I'll go with last year as the worst, simply because it was tedious.

The most amusing was in first grade, the traumatic Melissa Proctor experience... (If you ever read this, I'd love to hear from you).

So, this Valentine's day is boring, but not especially so. It's snowing right now too. That's something good.

At least my grandmother sent me some chocolate (signed "mammy" nonetheless).

The spellcheck thinks "Melissa" should be "Malice."

Sexus: .posted by graham on Feb 7 at 21:30

The men who believe that work and brains will accomplish everything must even be deceived by the quixotic and unforseen turn of events. They are the ones who are perpetually disappointed; no longer able to blame the gods, or God, they turn on their fellow men and vent their impotent rage by crying "Treason! Stupidity!" and other hollow terms.
- Henry Miller

School Sucks: .posted by ben on Feb 4 at 22:19

Death by Firebird: .posted by ben on Feb 3 at 21:38

I nearly died today. Biking back from Alfalfa's, I crossed Canyon on the crosswalk while riding the tallbike with a messenger bag full of groceries. Some crazy bitch in a blue Firebird drove toward the crosswalk, well over the speed limit, and then slid into the rear wheel of the tallbike (inside the crosswalk).

She collided with the tallbike, and push the rear wheel two or three inches. I balanced, somehow managed not to fall over. Smiling madly (and giving her the finger) I rode away. She (and her redneck friend in the other seat) swore at me. They swore a lot. Then they drove on.

It occurs to me that I should have gotten the license plate number and called the police.

Gigantic Head of Horse: .posted by ben on Feb 2 at 16:42

These pictures are of the horsehead nebula. The horse's head is about 16 light years tall. Here's a much bigger picture of the nebula.


Travel to Kom Phangang Someday: .posted by ben on Jan 31 at 01:18

There are so many girls, and none of them love me. It's very sad.

There's a girl in my diff eq class. I showed her how to do a problem. I'm actually looking forward to class on Friday. Strange, very strange.

Then, there's a girl in my set theory course. She apparently knows math. She goes to the Trident too.

That's all very well and nice, but I have bigger problems. CU apparently requires all math majors to take some stupid exit exam. I was previously assured that the exam is "no big deal." Today my satanic math advisor (Carrie Muir) sent out a message saying that there are no more slots available for the exam this spring. Apparently I'm supposed to sign up for the fall exam while there's still space.

Yes, I'm going to stay an extra semester all so I can take one miserable exit exam. So, I don't like her too much, but I never did.

My neural net works, which makes me happy. It snowed, which also makes me happy. Now, if I could go to sleep I would be happier. Unfortunately, I slept/vegetated for six hours after school.

The picture is of Kom Phangang. Sounds strange, looks pleasant.

Somebody Noticed: .posted by ben on Jan 28 at 00:45

This is great. Ahh, my moderate fame:

Nonplatonic: I must compliment the Webmaster at Nonplatonic for his clearly superior intelligence. Amongst the high-brow content plus some pornographic material is a separate section for one girl - Aimee Sweet. The collection of over 150 pictures is nicely organized into nine galleries with many series containing unique pictures in the series. Besides the number of pictures and uniqueness, I selected this site because it has the most pictures in the B&W; Pool series from Aimee's website, the most pictures in the Suze Randall series of Aimee in a Macramé outfit and the most images in Suze Randall's Jungle Girl series. Also found here is some information on Aimee including a biography and interview transcript. This is a good resource site.

The Link

I have apparently fallen into the category of blunt pornographers. Not the legal sort either. Oh well. Oh, yeah, the site moved here... I'm smiling madly right now due to the compliments. Ego. Long live ego.

Let Me Tell You About the Dao: .posted by ben on Jan 28 at 00:12

+ =

I just signed up to take the Pontiac challenge. I guess I'll have to wait to see if they accept me.

Question: What would you do with a Pontiac for a week?
Answer: Drive it into a lake.

Time to Sleep: .posted by ben on Jan 25 at 01:57

The guy who wants to learn to play go broke up with the cute girl who knows how to play go. Unfortunatly, I saw the guy who wants to learn to play go with his new girlfriend, not the cute girl who knows how to play go.

Did that make any sense?

I'm takeing four math classes, and I'm not going to get into graduate school. I'm going to be the only one in my family without a graduate degree. Last summer, Mozer said that if he said he wanted to work with someone as a graduate student, he could get them in, now he says "I'll write as good a letter of recomendation as I can." If I remember properly my GPA is 2.351, so I'm screwed. Last semester I got a 3.5 something, but that's not going to help, and it's certainly not going to help the 1.6 something I got one semester (when I started going out with Amanda incidentally).

This is supposed to be sexual?: .posted by ben on Jan 16 at 01:31


A Math Lesson: .posted by ben on Jan 16 at 01:25

I was reading my set theory book, and saw some really interesting stuff. The natural numbers are defined using set theory. All that arithmatic, and numbers for that matter, require in order to exist is prepositional logic.

First, as strange as it may seem, we need to define nothing, or null. It will be defined, quite arbitrarily as this:
Now, define 0 as null, that is
1 can be defined as

more generally,

Now, we have the natural numbers:
Pearl Harbor: .posted by ben on Jan 16 at 01:23


From left to right: the Arizona, the Downes, and the Cassin. Taken on Dec 7, 1941.

Tom Died: .posted by ben on Jan 15 at 17:50

Tom died because the fan for the power supply stopped working. Tom is now a cyrix 166 instead of a 486 dx 66. Now, I get to see if wasabi still works.

One more thing... A hearty "fuck you" to some Romanian who caused an undue amount of agony by hacking my RedHat boxes. Well, they're all OpenBSD now. There has never been a root level hack of the default install of OpenBSD.

What makes OpenBSD even better is that the cute little notify root trick the asshole Romanian used to hack maya was fixed on OpenBSD over a year ago (it showed up on a RedHat discussion board for the first time a few days ago).

As Anwar says "They are called script kiddies for a reason." Hey, at least I don't live in Romania.

In closing, fuck you.

It's Snowing Again: .posted by ben on Jan 10 at 03:41

I was walking down the mall, and it was snowing. Two homeless people started talking to me, and I ended up inviting them over for food. The talkative one was clearly insane. He said at various times he was Cheyenne, Peruvian, Italian, Mexican, and a number of other things I can't remember. He would alternate between claiming I was the second coming and saying who would steal everything I have.

I'm beginning to think the conservatives are right, at least a bit. The poor are poor because they've done something wrong. In this case, the people I met had no motivation for self improvement whatsoever.

Even if one accepts that, however, we need not become callous. Admit that the poor are fucked, and are probably at fault. At the same time, accept that society must support them, because in supporting the unreformable, we also support the reformable. If we cut support to the homeless who will always be homeless, we inadvertently deny those who are trying a means to succeed as well.

Bland academic theorizing. It's below freezing out there.

I Like to Bjork: .posted by ben on Jan 10 at 03:39


Mp3: .posted by ben on Jan 9 at 05:09

I just spent the last 10 hours sorting mp3s. I'm down to 12.2 gig on my hard drive from over 14. There's also a folder with 700mb of stuff that is labeled "painful."

I don't think I'm going to sleep. I'm going to eat some cereal, and then go read a book.

Happy Buddha: .posted by ben on Jan 8 at 00:33

It is finished. Time to go have a good time. Not all knowledge is good. I think I was wrong.

Shoveling Snow With Buddha: .posted by ben on Jan 8 at 00:32

In the usual iconography of the temple or the local Wok
you would never see him doing such a thing,
tossing the dry snow over the mountain
of his bare, round shoulder,
his hair tied in a knot,
a model of concentration.
Sitting is more his speed, if that is the word
for what he does, or does not do.
Even the season is wrong for him.
In all his manifestations, is it not warm and slightly humid?
Is this not implied by his serene expression,
that smile so wide it wraps itself around the waist of the universe?
But here we are, working our way down the driveway,
one shovelful at a time.
We toss the light powder into the clear air.
We feel the cold mist on our faces.
And with every heave we disappear
and become lost to each other
in these sudden clouds of our own making,
these fountain-bursts of snow.
This is so much better than a sermon in church,
I say out loud, but Buddha keeps on shoveling.
This is the true religion, the religion of snow,
and sunlight and winter geese barking in the sky,
I say, but he is too busy to hear me.
He has thrown himself into shoveling snow
as if it were the purpose of existence
as if the sign of a perfect life were a clear driveway
you could back the car down easily
and drive off into the vanities of the world
with a broken heater fan and a song on the radio.
All morning long we work side by side,
me with my commentary
and he inside the generous pocket of his silence,
until the hour is nearly noon
and the snow is piled high all around us;
then, I hear him speak.
After this, he asks,
can we go inside and play cards?
Certainly, I reply, and I will heat some milk
and bring cups of hot chocolate to the table
while you shuffle the deck,
and our boots stand dripping by the door.
Aaah, says the Buddha, lifting his eyes
and leaning for a moment on his shovel
before he drives the thin blade again
deep into the glittering white snow.
        -Billy Collins

blah.html: .posted by graham on Jan 7 at 09:01

The People have spoken! They want the Benisms!


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