haiku: .posted by ben on Oct 15 at 03:38:44

IQ 159.
3:50am now.
Coded for 10 hours.
Want to be a poet instead.

Things other than me to be: .posted by ben on Oct 12 at 11:28:14

"O to be a dragon,
a symbol of the power of Heaven -- of silkworm
size or immense; at times invisible.
Felicitous phenomenon!"
   -Marianne Moore

A Solution: .posted by ben on Oct 12 at 11:16:51

Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release. Therefore, the suggestion is we covertly capture him, fly him to an undisclosed hospital and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation.

Then we return HER to Afghanistan to live as a woman under the Taliban.

Death to Joy: .posted by ben on Oct 12 at 11:16:09

If Java is so fucking portable, then why does my code which runs beautifully on my windows box not even work a bit on my redhat box? Because Bill Joy sucks. Fuck him. Fuck Java. We should all write COBOL.

And he's afraid of sentient robots. Stallman, Moore, Joy, especially Linus all of them can go to hell. Gates is my hero. At least his operating system is vaguely useable.

At least they're fucking applications for it, even if they do blue screen every ten minutes. At least they write fucking drivers for Windows, that's certainly more than can be said of Solaris.

Every OS sucks. Computer science sucks more. I'm going to be homeless.

I don't want to be a programmer: .posted by ben on Oct 11 at 14:26:22

Sometime in the last several weeks I apparently nuked the binary perceptron I had to write. I have an old, buggy, version that I'm going to have to debug again it appears. As Collin said, "Isn't it rigorously proven that they can't do shit?"

The newest version of the code I have has a big section that says "////////This doesn't work/////////////."

Art or Pornography Redux: .posted by ben on Oct 2 at 15:04:02


Art or Pornography?: .posted by ben on Oct 2 at 14:46:26


Oh say can you see?: .posted by ben on Oct 2 at 14:33:28

If there is one thing that can arouse my patriotism, or at least a marginal appreciation of the graphics design involved in the flag, it is nudity. Imagine if Strom Thurmond could persuade Britney Spears to lead this country in its "war on evil" as our glorious leader called it. This supposed war could be transformed from paltry vengeance to a quest to uphold the American way. Sex, drugs and Rock and Roll for all! Let that cry ring out in the hills of Afghanistan.

Or, there's a more peaceable way to do this... Start the poppie fields aflame. Imagine the weather forecast. "Today the poppie cloud is moving north toward Beijing. There is a 40% chance of complete loss of productivity in that area for the next few days." Entire cities would become high at one time. Everyone might get along, if only for a bit.

Patriotism is good as long as it advocates nothing more significant than sex.


Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight'
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming.
And the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? 
         -Francis Scott Key

WWII: .posted by ben on Oct 2 at 14:09:11

"Poland has the best cavalry in the world. Why? Because Poland has the only cavalry in the world."

Barbie Gives and Recieves: .posted by ben on Oct 2 at 14:07:21


With a man of Leisure: .posted by ben on Oct 2 at 14:05:21

Yonder the mountain flowers are out. 
We drink together, you and I. 
One more cup - one more cup - still one more cup! 
Now I am drunk and drowsy, you had better go; 
But come to-morrow morning, if you will, with the harp! 
              -Li Tai Po

Lament of Banality: .posted by ben on Oct 2 at 02:18:03


Why won't the people in the middle east behave?

I really don't understand anti-Semitism. At least prior to world war II Jewishness could be determined by temple records. Now, there are so many non observant Jews that such a practice would be impossible. So, Jews are a persecuted yet unidentifiable minority. Why does anyone give a damn. I probably have more heretical views (from the perspective of the Catholic church) than any Jew, yet they don't have any particular desire to string me up.

What makes a Jew Jewish? In my Jewish and German Literature class we were arguing about some banal Heine foolishness. The girl I had been tormented the most asked me if I was Jewish. Up until this point she had been quite personable. When she found out I wasn't (I should have lied) the argument instantly took on a tone about how I couldn't understand because I wasn't Jewish.

Yes, miss non observant dip shit CU student...If only I belonged to some unidentifiable group then I would instantly understand why killing Palestinians is moral in light of Heine's sufferings.

I have a solution for ending the killing once and for all. We identify the most prominent ethnic group. They get to live. Of to the gas chambers with everyone else. No more fucking strife. At least, the only strife would be on the basis of things that matter, ideas, not skin colour or perceived ethnic background.

Then again, this will all working out in a few hundred more years. Love is not the solution, fucking is. If everyone fucks everyone else then we will all look the same. It's already happening. More fucking, less racism. What a glorious slogan.

That, and perhaps a balanced program of eugenics. No reproduction for mean people (myself excluded of course, my genes are great, never mind the deference toward depression).

This all brings me back to my theory of people. There are two traits people can have. They can be either smart or stupid, beautiful or hideous. The world contains about 5 beautiful smart people as nearly as I can tell. There are a select number of smart yet hideous people, a few more stupid beautiful ones. Sadly, the vast majority of humanity consists of ugly stupid people. These people realize how ugly and stupid they are, so in fear of the beautiful, smart, or some combination thereof have instituted discriminatory policies. The foremost of these in my life right now is college. Work will follow shortly I imagine. Then a banal retirement and finally death, because it's immoral to die early. The lament of banality follows:

Oh for something noble and stupid to die for!

The Horror: .posted by ben on Sep 28 at 05:01:50

I just got shafted on some IQ test. I scored 110. I'm trying to think of various reasons why its wrong, unfortunately for me I'm not any kind of minority by any stretch of the imagination. I scored 33% of arithmetic, yet scored 100% on analogies, and those stupid pattern problems kicked my ass (50%). It is 4 in the morning, so hopefully that had some bearing on my apparent stupidity.

I thought I was intelligent.

Maybe it's the sleep deprivation speaking, but this is quite depressing. It's fast approaching time to find a nice clocktower.

Everything is bad. The world is out to get me (and everyone else). The sentiment that there is some happy afterlife waiting for me is probably massive self delusion. It probably makes more sense just to end it. But, I don't want to end it. I want to be happy, I want to be well adjusted. I don't want to be the proponent of yet another web log that everyone skips over in search of more pornography. I want to be intelligent, happy, and loved.

Too bad.

And now there going to start killing people. If only there were such a thing as infinite justice. The people with guns are going to kill all the poor people. The war on evil has begun though evil has been misidentified as a bunch of poor Afghans. This all makes my existential angst seem rather paltry.

Of course, my existential angst is still quite real to me.

Why is the world this horrid a place, where pleasure and pain mingle in some absurd dance best left untouched by the sad vanity of the mind?

See what I mean? What sort of company makes the thing that poor woman is wrapped up in? Worse still, what sort of person wraps her up in that sort of matter? And then, finally, what sort of person can bear to look at the loss of humanity in sexuality? Cruelity abounds.

Carbon is Spiffy: .posted by ben on Sep 26 at 10:38:39

Maybe I need a new bike. 8 inches of rear travel and it has no pivots. Instead, there is a great big carbon fiber leaf spring.

The rear hub is a single speed, but the bike has 14 gears because of an internally geared hub sitting about where the seat stay intersects the seat tube. Collin and I were thinking about this, and despite the incredible weight of the internally geared hub (I know another one is about 3 lb.), you probably break even because derailleurs, two chain rings, a cogset, and one shifter pod are no longer needed.

In addition to all that, you derailleur won't clog with mud and tear of your frame, bending the dropout as happened in St. Louis to my poor Trek 8000 once (just after I had installed an XTR rear derailleur too).

Additionally, there is the benefit that this bike is not made by a company that Huffy owns, as is sadly the case of my GT now.

Trick Google With Stupidity: .posted by ben on Sep 19 at 02:20:45

Supposedly the google algorithm rates pages on the basis of the number of links to them. Puff now links to nonplatonic. It links there a lot.

Life is a Walking Shadow: .posted by ben on Sep 19 at 01:55:44


There is no if: .posted by ben on Sep 19 at 01:55:37

Remember the first time I told you I love you
It was raining hard and you never heard
You sneezed! and I had to say it over
"I said 'I love you'" I said...you didn't say a word
Just held your hands to my shining eyes
And I watched as the rain ran through your fingers
Held your hands to my shining eyes 
And smiled as you kissed me
"If you die," you said, "so do I" you said...
And it starts the day you make the sign
"Tell me I'm forever yours and you're forever mine
Forever mine..."
"If you die," you said, "so do I" you said...
And it starts the day you cross that line
"Swear I will always be yours and you'll always be mine
You'll always be mine
Always be mine..."
Remember the last time I told you I love you
It was warm and safe in a perfect world
You yawned and I had tos ay it over
"I said 'I love you'" I said...you didn't say a word
Just held your hands to your shining eyes
And I watched as the tears ran through your fingers
Held your hands to your shining eyes and cried
"If you die," you said, "so do I" you said...
But it ends the day you see how it is
There is no always forever...just this...
Just this...
"If you die," you said, "so do I" you said
But it ends the day you understand
There is no if...just and
There is no if...just and
There is no if...
	-The Cure

Happy Pictures: .posted by ben on Sep 17 at 19:46:49


Enlightenment: .posted by ben on Sep 17 at 19:45:07

"As I've been listening to students struggling to understand their grief, sorting through feelings for people they've never met, a thousand miles away--I was reminded of these lines from John Donne's 'Meditation XVII,' written in 1624. I'd forgotten how beautiful they were:

'All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language, and every chapter must be so translated. . . No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less. . . Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.'"

          -Jacqueline Gray



Wasabi Links:

Current | 05.02.25 | 05.02.15 | 05.01.07 | 04.12.01 | 04.11.02 | 04.10.21 | 04.08.21 | 04.08.16 | 04.08.10 | 04.07.01 | 04.06.04 | 04.04.16 | 04.03.13 | 04.01.28 | 04.01.22 | 04.01.10 | 03.12.06 | 03.11.25 | 03.11.21 | 03.11.13 | 03.11.09 | 03.11.03 | 03.10.29 | 03.10.22 | 03.10.20 | 03.10.18 | 03.10.14 | 03.10.08 | 03.10.04 | 03.09.22 | 03.09.17 | 03.09.08 | 03.08.31 | 03.07.02 | 03.02.01 | 02.12.09 | 02.11.07 | 02.06.29 | 02.04.15 | 02.03.21 | 02.02.20 | 02.01.07 | 01.12.18 | 01.10.15 | 01.09.17 | 01.09.03 | 01.07.30 | 01.05.17 | 01.05.08 | 01.04.25 | 01.03.12 | 01.02.11 | 01.01.29 | 01.01.18 | 00.12.18 | 00.12.16 | 00.12.14 | 00.12.12 | 00.12.04 | 00.12.01 | 00.11.30 | Search