Use Thy Tongue: .posted by ben on Jul 24 at 02:06:38

Out, out, brief candle! 
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage 
And then is heard no more. It is a tale 
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, 
Signifying nothing.

So many things to complain about. Collin and I were accursed of cheating. I photocopied the questions for a takehome exam from Albert. The teacher yelled at me, Collin, and Albert. Collin and I are intelligent enough to realize we did nothing wrong. Albert, however, seems to be lacking any internal sense of morality. He believes whatever foolishness our fat teacher tells him.

This brings me to the problems I see with education. The major problem is specialization. People do not go to college to learn, but to become moderately proficient at one subject. Of course, even this modest goal has fallen away in the face alcoholism and stupidity. During the Renaissance, and in feudal Japan, people were not considered intellectuals unless they were knowledgeable in all subjects. Science, math, literature, poetry, and engineering were all important.

Today anyone with diversified interests is considered foolish. By virtue of being in the school of engineering, I am presumed ignorant of Blake and Thoreau. Likewise, if I meet someone and only mention whatever I might have been reading recently they think I have no knowledge, nor interest in Goedel or Rosenblat.

Education is a sick creature, in dire need of euthanasia. Universities are past all redemption. They have become creatures to feed their own monetary ambitions, with no regard for the knowledge they were intended to espouse.

Sexism seems to be a dominant problem, which is closely linked to this foolish specialization. Women are taught that it is acceptable to fail in the sciences, but that if they fail in the arts they will not be marriageable. The result is that half of humanity has been reduced to relative incompetence.

The problem here cannot lay solely with colleges, but must have originated earlier. I, with my usually arrogance, would blame elementary school teachers. They are predominantly undereducated, self-righteous, and (as they are all happy to tell anyone) underpaid. If elementary school teachers had the proper qualifications, they would have no need for unions. Instead, they realize they are incompetent, sexist, and detrimental to the young, and so endeavor to protect themselves with unions.

The university system should die, those who do not learn should suffer (not those who fail to conform), and priority should be placed on elementary teachers, not college professors who contribute nothing save to the arcane.

I hope that I am all these things, artist, educator, philosopher, scientist. Perhaps I am not the best in any field, but hopefully disparate knowledge will not always remain so.

My Angry email...after I was accused of cheating...

Your accusations bother me for reasons beyond number. I have been at this university for two years, and in that time I have witnessed people who do cheat, they make the idea that copying the questions for a take home exam is cheating seem rather paltry.

In the assembly class at the university, the assignments have been the same for 15 years. As a result, no one seems to do the assignments anymore. Instead there is a body of assignments that are passed on from one generation of apathetic drunken students to another. Due to my honesty, my grade suffered dramatically. In a statistics class I took, 10 people sitting near me had a copy of the final exam prior to the exam. My grade was not extraordinary in that class, but at least I earned it.

Now, my honesty has been called into question. The thought that this might happen had not even crossed my mind. During the break in class today, Collin had some odd intuition, "He's going to say we cheated." I naively laughed. "How could we be accused of cheating if we had not cheated?" I said The one thing I'm learning at this school is that truth does not matter, only perception. Thus, if you believe that I cheated, the actual situation is probably irrelevant.

This was also evident when you asked why I was taking this course. I'm taking all my courses at this school because I need them to get a piece of paper that states I know something. This is true of everyone else, though some don't care to say it. I realize now that you did not want to know why I am taking this course, but to hear some trite statement about how much numerical analysis interests me.

The subject probably does interest me; most things do. The only problem is that school is not set up to be interesting, instead it is devised to be a horribly boring experience. Those who survive are most suited to sitting in a cubicle eight hours a day.

stupid: .posted by fuzzybunny on Jul 23 at 17:39:50

WANTED: Stupid Bat. Need ASAP, will pay top dollar. Would prefer large bat which inflicts terrible pain and can withstand frequent use.
Use the Force: .posted by ben on Jul 13 at 02:15:59

I just got the feeling in my stomach I used to get when I downloaded pornography in high school. It seems kind of stupid since, on some level, I long ago got over the stigma surrounding pornography. I've since decided that any male who calims they have no interest in pornography is lying, and any female who says so has simply been brainwashed. One friend of mine says he downloaded pornography using lynx. He would download it to his shell account (BVSD) and then ftp it from there.

My first pornography experience was at Principia oddly enough. Jack Wade was downloading pictures of what he termed "fast red cars" in his bookmarks while everyone looked on. He eventually got his Internet access taken aware for this dire affliction of conscience. I'm not sure that I spent any great amount of time at Principia looking at pornography. At that point it was too new and exciting.

I'm currently reading Henry Miller's Sexus. It is, incidentally, one of the more pornographic things I've come across in quite a while. And, it was suggested to me be a student at Naropa's Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics. I guess they appreciate pornography there. The book (or at least the first 200 pages thereof) consists of two or three well described sexual acts punctuated by psychotic rambling not entirely unlike my "novel," and then some more sex.

On another subject, what do these pictures have in common?


All these people sang the song "Ain't No Sunshine" at some point. The austere looking black man in a suit wrote the song. His name was Bill Withers. I'm still angry at DMX. How can someone turn a sad love song into "ain't no sunshine in this nation?" I think that's what he says at any rate.

Download this.... very good it is.

12:40 Saturday morning: .posted by marco on Jul 7 at 00:55:14

I think I had something to say, but I don't remember what it was now. Maybe something about what we're doing tonight or what we've done...we were at the Trident, of course, and then we went and played chess on the table on the mall. And then I showed Collin The Hun and he's been looking at it since. Here's a picture:

And here's another, that I think scared Collin:

And Ben is trying to write a program to grab all the pictures from a URL--either that or a virus. I'm not quite sure which.

Oh, yes, I just remembered one thing I was going to write about: Jesus.com. Do you want to meet Jesus? Do you want to bathe with Jesus? Do you want to date Jesus? You can! Just fill out the compatibility questionnaire. I filled out a fairly random assortment of answers and scored below the 20th percentile. Oh well. I guess I won't be bathing with Jesus.

Yes...well, I think it may be time to end this. Maybe I'll put something more up in a bit. At least I got some porn up--that's what this site's really about, isn't it, Ben?

I Want To Go: .posted by ben on Jul 6 at 01:51:16

My auspicious music career is dawning. No more computer science. I will become a mediocre musician and make millions. Britney Spears move over, I'm coming. Listen to a sample from Bentonius Gray's first single: I Want to Go to Mexico. I think I need a better microphone...

Patriotism: .posted by ben on Jul 5 at 03:59:30

On the eve of receiving yet another mediocre grade, I find myself contemplating what might be done to prevent this recurrence. I know school isn't about learning, but one would hope some modicum of knowledge and grace would be rewarded. While my writing is bad, that of my classmates is easily worse. I even have an example:

"After careful analysis, however, the woman can be viewed not only as that which is feminine, but that which is defined by its negative otherness against the masculine." -Betsy Wagner

I asked her, in class, what this meant. Needless to say, she didn't have a damn clue and began rambling about how the sentence was badly written and in need of revision. Even the most horrendous things that I write make a bit more sense than that piece of work.

I've been trying to think of ways that I might dissuade my teacher from giving me a bad grade. The best I can come up with really isn't a preventative measure however. Perhaps if I killed myself and beforehand sent of notes to various people claiming that it is their fault I lost it, I might be able to cause some pandemonium. Incidentally, I could probably send those very letters and go live a rewarding life in baja instead of disemboweling myself.

Beyond the stress of school, I have an endless supply of other stress to deal with. My father is in town for a few more days, staying in the attic above my room. What this means is that every morning he spends twenty minutes digging through his suitcases which are stored in my room, just above my head. He also likes to dust in my room while I am trying to sleep. Today, he decided to clean the computer room, and attempted to exile me from my computer while he did so. I got screamed at when I attempted to sit in my chair.

As if that were not enough, my sister has taken to demolition as a sport. She tore up one garden which she replaced with many plants that will no doubt succumb to beer bottles and urinating yuppies. She has since threatened to weed the remaining gardens around the house, including my beloved patio.

This brings me to another point. Apparently the motto of Wellesley, where my sister goes to school, has something to do with creating educated people to serve humanity in general. Humanity in general is made up of the poor, so I find myself asking the question: Do the daughters of America's elite serve the interests of the poor? When I said that such a supposition was absurd, my father got angry. Perhaps I should conduct interviews with union steelworkers to determine if they believe Hillary Clinton and Madeline Albright (both Wellesly graduates I understand) are serving their interests.

The rich (and the poor for that matter) never serve any interest save their own. The rich may appear to with token donations, but the wealthy never risk their wealth, they only give token allowances to ease their rather crusty consciences.

I should really just give up. Baja is only 1200 miles away. Going 120mph, I could be there in 10 hours...2pm tommorow...just in time to get some surfing in before a night of drunken debauchery.

dandy: .posted by ben on Jun 28 at 08:14:57

Burnt poems,
orange lettuce leaves,
fall from the sky.

Hands are for touching: .posted by ben on Jun 5 at 03:51:59

I wrote some more. Someone should read it, because these things are written to be read.

Cold wood floors
lights shine at night
hunger comes quickly.

Late Night Suffering: .posted by ben on Jun 5 at 02:33:19

I suffer from some odd form of post modern angst. Sitting in classes that have no relevance to anything I could even vaguely imagine being interested in doesn't help too much either. Once again, I come to the question of: "Given all my things, why am I not happy?"

Not a good question to ask yourself at 2 am. Everytime I talk to Collin now, he asks if I am high. Others ask me the same question, or the alcoholic variant thereof. No, I am, unfortunately not high, nor drunk.

I am sleepy and ill. The sound of me coughing is capable of stunning an ox.

I am currently taking a class on writing thesis essays about American Short Stories. What purpose does such a skill serve for a math major? I would have thought that it would be better to have mathematicians take creative writing courses to make their painfully boring writing more interesting.

Not that school make any sense in that way, nor has it ever. I must remember that school is not about learning, but centered on the mind numbing process of cultural assimilation. I must become more like the others. I must watch football, and hockey, drink beer, and call women "hot."

Why is it that the male assholes invariably meet success in their personal lives? For that matter, they usually don't do too bad in their professional lives either. Idiot business majors are a perfect example, we need look no further than our idiot president.

I wish my daddy were George Bush Sr., or maybe William Gates Sr. Either way, the wealth would not be too shabby.

One of the more irritating misconceptions that exists is that Gates Jr. was a "self made man," as if such a thing exists. Gates Jr. dropped out of Harvard, and started a company with daddy's help. Microsoft is nothing more than the propagation of Gates Sr.'s wealth.

I hate school because it is contrary to learning. I hate English majors because they read and write less than I do. I hate architects because I should have been one. Most of all, I hate the stupid people because they are happier than I am and will inherit the earth. Jesus was wrong, the meek get fucked...figuratively, very rarely literally.


I am a dreamer and a fool: .posted by ben on May 27 at 03:43:37

It turns out that, as usual, I have been misunderstood (misunderestimated?). Collin now agrees with my hypocrisy statement, so here it is again for the rest of you:

"Only through hypocrisy can we achieve greater morals."

hy·poc·ri·sy (from Merriam-Webster)

a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not; especially : the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion
Part 2 - The Addiction: .posted by fuzzybunny on May 21 at 09:11:29

Part 1 - The Attraction: .posted by fuzzybunny on May 18 at 10:13:09

Coffee and Writing: .posted by ben on May 17 at 02:38:54

I've writing a fair bit lately. It's not the best writing there is, but it doesn't seem too painful to read either. Check out the serialized mediocre american novel here.

At Devin's pseudo-request, I put my old VRML site back up. It's here. In other exciting news, wasabi seems to have made its first successful switch of pages without me running it. Ah, sweet perl.

My American Political Thought teacher, who is a Polish communist told the class that our standard of living would be better under communism.

GDP=Consumption+Investment+Government Spending
For the United States in 2000:

GDP=9,963.1 billion = 9.9631*10^12

US Population = 276,298 * 1000 = 276,298,000

GDP/US Population = $36,059.3 (2000 dollars)

For the world in 1999:

GWP=30,299 billion

World Population 6,002,509,427

GWP/World Population = $5,047.72 (1997 dollars)
fly: .posted by collin on May 17 at 02:38:50

I want to fly.



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