Stupid Engineers: .posted by ben on Mar 7 at 13:50:22

Pornography, as defined by the Department of Justice from the Calvin Klein lawsuit does the following: "focus on the genital area, show unnatural poses, depict children as sex objects, imply that the children are willing to engage in sex, and have a sugge stive setting."

Ben's fragile eggshell mind breaks... I don't understand porn.

Dawn's Highway
Indians scattered on dawn's highway bleeding
Ghosts crowd the young child's fragile eggshell mind.
Me and my -ah- mother and father - and a
grandmother and a grandfather - were driving through
the desert, at dawn, and a truck load of Indian
workers had either hit another car, or just - I don't
know what happened - but there were Indians scattered
all over the highway, bleeding to death.
So the car pulls up and stops. That was the first time
I tasted fear. I musta' been about four - like a child is
like a flower, his head is just floating in the
breeze, man.
The reaction I get now thinking about it, looking
back - is that the souls of the ghosts of those dead
Indians...maybe one or two of 'em...were just
running around freaking out, and just leaped into my
soul. And they're still in there.
Indians scattered on dawn's highway bleeding
Ghosts crowd the young child's fragile eggshell mind.
Blood in the streets in the town of New Haven
Blood stains the roofs and the palm trees of Venice
Blood in my love in the terrible summer
Bloody red sun of Phantastic L.A.
Blood screams her brain as they chop off her fingers
Blood will be born in the birth of a nation
Blood is the rose of mysterious union
Blood on the rise, it's following me.
Indian, Indian what did you die for?
Indian says, nothing at all.
                   -Jim Morrison

On the way to destruction: .posted by ben on Mar 4 at 23:30:50

William Burroughs once visited some friends in Mexico with his beloved wife. One night he, his wife, and two friends were rather drunk. Burroughs, for one reason or another, carried a gun. He said to his friends that he and his wife would perform their "William Tell" act. Burroughs had never done this, before, but he proceeded to do so in his rather inebriated state. An apple was placed on his wifes head, and he shot her dead.

Burroughs went on to write Naked Lunch.

His wife went on to be dead.

It would appear that all your base are belong to us. And while I still don't understand what this means, it seems frightening nonetheless.

"Anyone who is happy is stupid." -Aaron Brownfoot

"People quote, only if they have nothing to say themselves." -Aaron Brownfoot

"God is like a giant penguin." -Aaron Brownfoot."

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania

And...To prove that the ancients were fools a few quotations from Tacitus...

"When a woman has lost her chastity she will shrink from nothing."

"Posterity gives every man his true value."


Some Verb: .posted by ben on Mar 3 at 19:07:27

I have nothing to do, and nowhere to go. It's Saturday night and... nothing. There is nothing. The void that is my life is incredible. Sara(h?), from my history class said she would call sometime this weekend, so I'm still holding out for that. The trident is closed until tommorow. What I need is a massive sedative, knock myself out until 7am tommorow morning, wake up, and feel that everything is ok.

The sound on my linux box doesn't work. I guess it was naive to expect it to set itself up all alone, but I am naive as m first girlfriend, Rachel, repeatadly told me. The hideous irony. Now she is eloped with some dipshit, probably quite happy, though screwed in every since of the word.

My idiot math teach is wrong. He is an idiot, so I guess that is to be expected. Two functions are independent if they are not constant multiples of one another. So, if they are non-constant multiples of one another, they are independent (by uniqueness of a product). This seemed obvious to me, after all it is a result from basic arithmatic. He said it was wrong, and gave a counter example which doesn't prove me (or a fair portion of the class) wrong.

Someone told me that last semester he made 3 people cry in class. Wolkowsky, don't take a class from Wolkowsky.

6:23, and what a I to do?

Browse the web...

"Language is a virus." -William S. Burroughs

More from my favorite idiot celebrity here.
Quick Fix by William S. Burroughs

To put the country simple, earth has a lot of things other folks might want...like the whole planet. And maybe these folks would like a few changes made. Like more carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere, and room for their way of life. We've seen this happen be fore, right in these United States.
Your way of life destroyed the Indian's way of life.
The Indian reservation is extinction.
But I offer this distinction. I'm with the invaders, no use trying to hide that. And at the same, I disagree with some of the things they are doing.
Oh were not united anymore than you are
Oh we're not united anymore than you are.
Conservative factions is set on nuclear war as a solution to the Indian personality.
Others disagree
Others disagree
I don't claim that my methods are one hundred percent humane, but I do say, if we can't think of anything quieter, and tidier than that...
We are all not that much better than new earth aches.
There is no place else to go
The theater is closed
There is no place els to go
The theater is closed
Cut word lines
Cut music lines
Smash the control images
Smash the control machine.

Hamster Dance

Things like the hamster dance make me sad, I'm not really sure why. I guess they are reminders of a happy childhood I only had glimses at, while others I know seem to take it for granted.

I can't bring myself to eat peeps. This seems to be the same sort of thing. Things as cute, as idealistic, peeps should not be eaten.

And yes, I fully accept that I have lost my mind.

People are stupid.

Racial Crisis: .posted by fuzzybunny on Feb 28 at 14:31:15

I just picked up a free book in the management department. It's called "Racial Crisis in American Education." It was written in 1969. This should be interesting....

I was flipping through it just now. It says that the sixth stage of the black revolution and parallel textbook developments is: Multiracial Integration- Full equality in all respects. Housing is desegregated. Negro history books are obsolete. Basic texts contain nonwhite history. Next to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is the statue of the unknown Indian who discovered America. Th e word "Negro" passes into history.

Jeez, won't the term "indian" ever pass into history? Somehow I don't think of an indian "discovering" america. Discovering carries with it such a sense of revelation. I don't think the indian came across the bering land bridge and said "Wow, look at this place! I'll call it America!"

I Hate School: .posted by ben on Feb 21 at 13:48:06

          -Harry Callahan

Guess who wrote this...

"The industrial system will not break down purely as a result of revolutionary action. It will not be vulnerable to revolutionary attack unless its own internal problems of development lead it into very serious difficulties. So if the system breaks dow n it will do so either spontaneously, or through a process that is in part spontaneous but helped along by revolutionaries. If the breakdown is sudden, many people will die, since the world's population has become so overblown that it cannot even feed its elf any longer without advanced technology.

Even if the breakdown is gradual enough so that reduction of the population can occur more through lowering of the birth rate than through elevation of the death rate, the process of de-industrialization probably will be very chaotic and involve much s uffering. It is naive to think it likely that technology can be phased out in a smoothly managed orderly way, especially since the technophiles will fight stubbornly at every step. Is it therefore cruel to work for the breakdown of the system?

Maybe, but maybe not. In the first place, revolutionaries will not be able to break the system down unless it is already in deep trouble so that there would be a good chance of its eventually breaking down by itself anyway; and the bigger the system gr ows, the more disastrous the consequences of its breakdown will be; so it may be that revolutionaries, by hastening the onset of the breakdown will be reducing the extent of the disaster."

The Answer.


My ai is broken. My threads assignment is still in its larval state. I have a test on friday. Essentially I am doomed.

Half an hour to class. I hate diff eq. I hate school. This all sucks. Such complete suckage.

Once again, I will recieve shitty grades. Not for lack of interest, that is never the problem, but for not being able to complete mundane assignment, or understand what the stupid teacher is thinking.

School is not about learning. I'm not sure that it ever has been.

Why did you turn back,
that hell should be reinhabited
of myself thus
swept into nothingness?
Why did you turn?
why did you glance back?
So you have swept me back--
I who could have walked with the live souls
above the earth.
I who could have slept among the live flowers
at last.
so for your arrogance
and your ruthlessness
I am swept back
where dead lichens drip
dead cinders among moss of ash.
What was it that crossed my face
with the light from yours
and your glance?
What was it you saw in my face --
the light of your own face,
the fire of your own presence?
                -H. D.

Hair: .posted by ben on Feb 20 at 15:21:56

The various stages of hair removal...

Love Labours Something: .posted by ben on Feb 18 at 15:50:07

A sad flower dies
the day spirit hums
in a glass house.

Friday Night: .posted by ben on Feb 16 at 22:05:32

I have a webcam now, though not hosted on nonplatonic yet. It's right here.
As long as you, whoever you may be my less than plentiful readers are reading this, why not have a few pictures of my room?
And of course, my cats.

Some pictures of maya and eurydice respectively.

A picture of Aphra Bane (commonly known as munch)...

And finally, some pictures of me...

angst: .posted by ben on Feb 12 at 22:58:01

There are an incredible number of girls that I am infatuated with. One, whose name I don't think I've ever known, was in my math class last semester. I met her down at the trident tonight, and we talked of and on for two hours. She picked me out as a vegetarian because I was wearing sandals. I pointed out they were leather. She said she could tell anyway, though still because of the sandals. Those sandals have christened two potential relationships so far, cursed shoes.

The oldest infatuation is finally, thankfully dying away, and I'm not entirely sure why. I guess these things only last for so long.

The most recent lies is the realm of feminism. Who knows what chasing after a feminist, who doesn't know that I am chasing, will accomplish.


Feminist This site is titled the feminist majority. That the leaders of this organization could be so foolish is disheartening. There is still so much work to be done before there is even a sizable feminist minority. A majority, no. Most of the population doesn't even give a damn about feminism, their environment, politics.... And if they do care, they don't understand, they vote for people because of who they are, not what they think.

My idiot writing teacher. She probably fancies herself a feminist of sorts, yet she criticized me for using their as a gender neutral singular. She suggested that I write "his or her." This is a fucking woman.... Shouldn't she have some concern for the innate masculine assumptions built into the language in which she allegedly writes and teaches?

If I feel this broken at age 19, what will I be like at 60, will I even be alive?

Human Arrogance: .posted by ben on Feb 11 at 23:31:53

Life is an emergent property of complexity.

This seems so obvious to me, yet meets with constant criticism from almost everyone I know. Many of my friends refuse to admit the possibility that there is nothing else. Intelligence has evolved as our brains have, but is in no way fundamentally different from the reasoning of my cats, a tree, or a rock. The only difference is in degree of intelligence.

How, if someone believes in evolution, ad continua, can they believe that we are different from everything else? Did we not gradually develop from and with everything around us? The arrogance in announcing our fundamental variation from the rest of creation is indicative of our utmost stupidity.

Some day this will be the dominant view. When we have watched life evolve, when human record contains the development of intelligence equal and greater to our own, then this will be undeniable.

Until then I will have to listen to fools pandering about on how humans have developed all these things that animals have not. Beavers have engineering, as do termites, dolphins and ants have war. Birds have art. Virtually everything has language... What do we have that animals (if we are not) do not?

Our stupidity is astounding. Why do we have souls, but bacteria do not? Is there some difference I have overlooked, or is it just that we (well men first) were created in the image of good. Ah, religious bullshit.



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