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Category: Rants

Fucking Dispatch

So it is "The General" they keep playing at the Flipside. I just didn't recognize it because it's some shitty live version. Fuck you Dispatch, you suck.

posted by graham Email | 02/10/06 | 01:44:22 pm | 5 views | Rants | 2 comments

If I Could Blow Up One Webiste:

I just looked at myspace for the first time. What a waste of... uh... something. What strikes me most is that nobody there can be bothered to format pages properly. Is it so hard to resize images and wrap text? And the colors - dear god! Black backgrounds with dark blue and grey text abound...

I thought myspace was supposed to be a place for shitty bands to promote themselves, but it appears that every Joe and his retarded dog is up there.

Now how do I unsubscribe?

posted by graham Email | 12/27/05 | 12:22:50 pm | 2 views | Rants, rant | Leave a comment

Fuck you, Christmas!
posted by graham Email | 12/26/05 | 04:09:49 pm | 2 views | Rants | Leave a comment

Look at that thing up there. Now look at this thing here.

If this is really what espresso machines have become, someone please shoot me now. (Found on

posted by graham Email | 12/15/05 | 06:25:38 pm | 3 views | Rants, coffee | Leave a comment

Yeah, the food is damn good, BUT....

I've been punching in all my favorite restaurants. Some didn't do so well. :( However, some of the ones I hate did even worse. :)

posted by graham Email | 12/12/05 | 07:55:28 pm | 2 views | Rants, seattle | Leave a comment

Hondas suck. That is all.

In case you are ever unfortunate enough to find yourself replacing the clutch on your FWD boringmobile, I would recommend following all of the instructions in whichever manual you happen to be using.

posted by graham Email | 10/10/05 | 02:48:06 pm | 1 views | Rants | Leave a comment

My Crazy Uncle, Part 1

My uncle (on the crazy side of the family, obviously) just sent this link out to the family.

Usually he just sends us crap warning us to sell everything and buy gold because the apocalypse is coming and we'll have to defend ourselves from zombified hippies with our gold-tipped spears. This is just batshit crazy though. Here's an excerpt:

"The purpose of female empowerment is to dissolve the family and to increase our dependence on the media and government, which are both owned and controlled by agents of Illuminist bankers."

posted by graham Email | 10/05/05 | 02:47:52 pm | 1 views | Rants, politics, rant | Leave a comment

Bye bye SPG

I used to enjoy this blog. Then she had to go and write/draw what is perhaps the worst cartoon I have ever read (amirite?). Now I need a new blog to replace it in my bookmark toolbar. It is all so tragic.

posted by graham Email | 08/29/05 | 10:21:05 pm | 1 views | Rants | 1 comment

Internets 1, Local Bike Shops 0

Ben and I have searched for Magura brake pads for use with ceramic bicycle rims for years now. We always knew they existed, but people in bike shops claimed that they were either impossible to order (on permanent backorder) or that there was in fact no such thing.
Moreover, when I tried to find a brake line for my Magura Louise disc brake, I found that while nobody had any in stock, they wouldn't even consider ordering one for me.
Enter the internet!

Magura now has an online store where you can purchase supplies and replacement parts for any of their brakes. I was able to purchase the correct line and pads in under 5 minutes, for less than what a shop would have charged (even counting shipping), and I will receive them sooner as well.

posted by graham Email | 08/28/05 | 08:31:00 pm | 4 views | Rants, random, technology | Leave a comment


I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry. Out of all that is going on in the world, CNN is choosing to cover an internet worm.

Of course, the blurb at the bottom of the screen is priceless:
"Computer Worm Affects Machines Running Microsoft Windows"

posted by graham Email | 08/16/05 | 04:32:20 pm | 3 views | Rants | Leave a comment

Bug me no more

While getting a user/pass from bugmenot, i noticed their "NY Times recommends bugmenot" link.

I especially like the bit about stuffing return envelopes with pieces of sheetmetal.

Also, while I'm strongly in favor of the short/tall/grande system, the Lincoln Park shirt sounds pretty amusing.

posted by graham Email | 06/01/05 | 02:15:57 pm | 3 views | Rants, Raves, Missleaneus, Photos, null, coffee, math, books, news, Ideas, random, hci, music, politics, art, movies, technology | 42 comments

Holy Shit! Look at these animals! They can stand on two legs!

posted by graham Email | 05/22/05 | 06:27:48 pm | 1 views | Rants | 1 comment


Damn it. Why isn't there any sort of standard for laptop drive bays? I want to put an optical drive where my floppy is now, and I happen to have a spare DVD rom drive, but it just doesn't quite slide in far enough. And the connector is wrong to boot.

posted by graham Email | 04/15/05 | 03:28:00 am | 7 views | Rants | 1 comment

The Terrible Stench of Coffeeshop Death

My local coffee establishment has died, and I didn't even see it coming. Maybe it's not dead yet. It could have been just a stroke, like Prufrocks used to have periodically. But the end is in sight.
The usual signs - new partners, shorter hours, menu modifications - are all there.
Even as I'm typing this I can hear one of the new partners conducting an analysis. She's comparing the coffee prices to Starfucks. I want to warn her, to say to her "I'm sorry, Miss, but your community college economics aren't enough to save your investment."
I want to tell her it is more complicated. I want to tell her about the art displays, the furniture, the music they choose, the lighting and the temperature they keep the room at. I want to tell her how much the pastries suck, how the desserts are awful, and how the flavorings they choose for the drink specials make it taste more like medicine than coffee. But I know they won't listen, because they think that lowering prices ten cents will make demand skyrocket, and that closing two hours earlier every day will dramatically reduce their expenses.

Fare thee well sweet Flipside. I'll stay with you to the end. Even when you've forgotten my name and close at 5 PM, I'll be there.

Unless you start playing Dido again.

posted by graham Email | 04/04/05 | 04:15:41 pm | 5 views | Rants, coffee | Leave a comment

HR Alien Teknologie

So today I had a job interview and was, in fact, hired.
Life was good. I was a productive member of society once again. Sure, it wasn't the highest paying job I've had, but any job involving a rental car, laptop, GPS receiver, a pair of binoculars and a cellphone sounds interesting in my book.
Ah, so you noticed my use of the past tense regarding the job. Yes, about that. By my phone logs, I figure that my job lasted a whopping two hours and fifty-six minutes.

This has to be some kind of record. Having been through interview processes taking over a month (before I decided to take another job), it is inconceivable to me that any human resources department could manage to both hire and fire me in under three hours.

There has to be some rational explanation for this.

My friend Rob would say that there was some kind of government conspiracy behind this, that it was a plot to get me to spend money on a haircut and gasoline. I find this an unlikely explanation. Everyone knows that women's haircuts cost more than men's, and so if the polititians really wanted to make money from the salons they undoubtedly control, they would only let women get their hair cut.
My logic is flawless. Fuck you.

My explanation:
The people I interviewed with had not actually been trained in human resources. They were employment engineers, researching new processes for hiring and firing people. Their ultimate goal: to aquire the knowledge of how to fire somebody before they start working, with the result being never having to pay an employee again.

Again: Fuck you.

posted by graham Email | 01/18/05 | 01:25:27 am | 1 views | Rants | Leave a comment

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