A compulsively lazy coffee addict...
The Terrible Stench of Coffeeshop Death
04/04/05 @ 04:15:41 pm, Categories: Rants, coffee, 224 words   English (US)

My local coffee establishment has died, and I didn't even see it coming. Maybe it's not dead yet. It could have been just a stroke, like Prufrocks used to have periodically. But the end is in sight.
The usual signs - new partners, shorter hours, menu modifications - are all there.
Even as I'm typing this I can hear one of the new partners conducting an analysis. She's comparing the coffee prices to Starfucks. I want to warn her, to say to her "I'm sorry, Miss, but your community college economics aren't enough to save your investment."
I want to tell her it is more complicated. I want to tell her about the art displays, the furniture, the music they choose, the lighting and the temperature they keep the room at. I want to tell her how much the pastries suck, how the desserts are awful, and how the flavorings they choose for the drink specials make it taste more like medicine than coffee. But I know they won't listen, because they think that lowering prices ten cents will make demand skyrocket, and that closing two hours earlier every day will dramatically reduce their expenses.

Fare thee well sweet Flipside. I'll stay with you to the end. Even when you've forgotten my name and close at 5 PM, I'll be there.

Unless you start playing Dido again.

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A compulsively lazy coffee addict, striving subconsciously to lose his direction in life. Each month seems to usher in either the best or worst time of his life, as if some cosmic resonance were attempting to fling him off this plane of existence with no regard to where he might land.
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