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Archives for: January 2005

HR Alien Teknologie

So today I had a job interview and was, in fact, hired.
Life was good. I was a productive member of society once again. Sure, it wasn't the highest paying job I've had, but any job involving a rental car, laptop, GPS receiver, a pair of binoculars and a cellphone sounds interesting in my book.
Ah, so you noticed my use of the past tense regarding the job. Yes, about that. By my phone logs, I figure that my job lasted a whopping two hours and fifty-six minutes.

This has to be some kind of record. Having been through interview processes taking over a month (before I decided to take another job), it is inconceivable to me that any human resources department could manage to both hire and fire me in under three hours.

There has to be some rational explanation for this.

My friend Rob would say that there was some kind of government conspiracy behind this, that it was a plot to get me to spend money on a haircut and gasoline. I find this an unlikely explanation. Everyone knows that women's haircuts cost more than men's, and so if the polititians really wanted to make money from the salons they undoubtedly control, they would only let women get their hair cut.
My logic is flawless. Fuck you.

My explanation:
The people I interviewed with had not actually been trained in human resources. They were employment engineers, researching new processes for hiring and firing people. Their ultimate goal: to aquire the knowledge of how to fire somebody before they start working, with the result being never having to pay an employee again.

Again: Fuck you.

posted by graham Email | 01/18/05 | 01:25:27 am | 1 views | Rants | Leave a comment

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